


Castiel Almighty

by ellerkay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Gen, Guilt, Sad Ending, brief suidical thoughts, but as we all know he will be back, thanks to canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 14:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20098339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerkay/pseuds/ellerkay
Summary: An exploration of Castiel's mindset during his time as "God" in S7E1, "Meet The New Boss."





	Castiel Almighty

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Swan Song Bingo, Godstiel square (season 7).

Being God was glorious.

Castiel could feel the power singing through his veins, blazing brightly, strong beyond anything he’d ever imagined. It made him feel light like air, flowing like water, strong like earth, fierce like fire. His possibilities were limitless. He could see and hear everything. He was everywhere and nowhere. He was one with everything and he was above it all.

Being God was also, it seemed, very painful.

The new knowledge and sensations which bombarded him threatened to overwhelm his senses, his psyche. The hum of power made his bones ache. His veins, his skin…everything hurt with a dull, throbbing sensation whenever he paused, whenever he wasn’t high on the new power.

The power threatened to break out; he subdued it.

In the first moments, the pain was barely noticeable. Castiel saw everything with stunning clarity. He knew what he was and what he needed to do. He saw the Winchesters with new eyes; he was still fond of them, but they were beneath him now. He would spare them, unless they proved themselves troublesome.

He went to Heaven first, striking down his enemies. He felt a little sorry for them as he destroyed them with no effort. Angels were so easily led. It wasn’t entirely their fault that Raphael had fooled them. But an example had to be made. No one could be allowed to stand against him.

Next, Castiel flew around the world, righting wrongs where his Father had forsaken humanity. He smote hateful people and hypocrites lying in God’s name – Castiel’s name, now. He healed the sick. On and on, but there seemed to be no end to the evil and suffering in the world.

And Castiel’s own pain was growing steadily worse. His skin was breaking out in painful lesions. Voices whispered to him, demanding that he release them. It hurt his head – no, not his head, but his mind. He stared in horror at his vessel’s stomach, skin stretching as _something_ tried to claw its way out.

“No,” he said, pushing them back with all his might. He was stronger than these creatures. He could contain them. He would wield their power and he would fix the world. He would correct his Father’s mistakes. He was God now. It was his responsibility.

The Winchester’s betrayal hurt him, too, but Castiel ignored it. The ache was only an echo of the affection he’d held for them. They were foolish, and they were nothing to him now.

He moved on. He went to the corrupt senator, ready to strike her down – 

– and he woke up on the floor, covered in blood, surrounded by corpses. He looked around, mounting horror overtaking him. All these people…

How could he have been so wrong?

And he had burned every bridge he had. The Winchesters would hate him now, and they were right to do it. His madness had cost hundreds of lives in Heaven and on Earth.

The voices whispered…

Castiel stumbled as he tried to block them out. He braced himself against a wall. He felt like he was going to disintegrate. He wondered if the world would be better off if he did.

No. He couldn’t let the Leviathans escape.

And then he heard Sam Winchester’s voice, praying to him. Begging him to let them help.

Tears sprang into his eyes. Sam Winchester’s faith had always been a magnificent thing. Now it was Castiel’s salvation.

It took him a couple minutes to brace for flight, but finally, Castiel got himself to Bobby Singer’s house, to the people he had betrayed.

Holding himself together while they prepared the spell was a monumental effort, but Castiel couldn’t help spending some of his precious strength in apology to Dean. Little good that it did.

When the souls left him, Castiel felt cold and empty. It took him a moment to swim back to consciousness. He was amazed that he was still alive. He felt profound relief.

And then, he realized that he’d failed. Laughter and triumph not his own bubbled up in his mind, and Castiel knew despair. His strength was gone. He had no way to fight them anymore. He could only shout a warning to Dean and Bobby before blackness overtook him.

_It’s what I deserve,_ he thought, and then he was gone.


End file.
